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Saturday, July 22, 2006Y

A little girl was going to die.

But she did not know what dieing is. All she knew was that she was feeling really 'bad' and that there was a man following her everywhere she go. To the car, to the hospital, in her bedroom. a man that no one else could see. He never smiled comfortingly, like the doctors nor cry like her mother or frown like her father. He just looked at her.

She was drenched and pain was tearing through her like fire. Moaning, she writhed on the bed, eyes rolling wildly in their sockets. The doctors could only look helplessly at her.

'Do something!' hollered Mr Tan. 'That's my daughter suffering there, do something!'

'I am sorry,' mumbled the doctor. 'The virus has attacked her spinal cord there's nothing we can do but administer morphine.'

Mr Tan closed his eyes. 'Do it.'

A miraculous liquid was coursing through her body and the little girl felt the 'bad pain' left her slowly, almost reluctantly. As her breathing became even, she turned to look at the man next to her. He still stared at her.
Oddly, she felt no fear. Instead, she looked questioningly at him, before turning to look at her mother, saying 'I'm going to die.'

'Mrs Tan gasped in horror at that pronouncement. Her daughter had no prior knowledge of death or whatsoever, so what is it that sparked such an ominious comment, especially at this time?Swallowing back her tears, she pushed back her daughter's sweat drenched hairs and said half-choking, half soothingly 'Of course not. We will protect you.'

But the little girl was already asleep.

ends at 7/22/2006 10:32:00 PM

Friday, July 21, 2006Y

Let's talk about irrationality.

What is it?

Insanity? Idiocity? Natural?

Last one caught you by surprise, didn't it?

Yes, irrationality is a condition we have long learned to suppress. It is not necessary a bad thing. Sometimes, it is linked to instincts, other to stuborness.

My teacher says that i am very, very rational.

Now, this might indicate that i am some premium product of society, strip of all insanity. My 'insanity' is created. That's not irrationality isn't it.
I am emtionless and now i am senseless.

No wonder my fervent wish is to be a nun in the mountain.

While others weep over loss of family, love and despair, I cry over bad results, money problems and my looks during the steriodal side effects.

WHERE IS MY MORAL SENSE?!!!!

it is taught by societ, conditioned by family, reinforce by friends. I am too sane.

Sanity
When you look at the sky and see helium gas
When you look at the soil and think sand
When you look at people but thought of primates
Then you know that you are really not sane.
By society standards you are a genius
In heaven's eyes you are but a fool.


Give me back my natural instincts.

ends at 7/21/2006 10:46:00 PM

Saturday, July 15, 2006Y
Loneliness

Loneliness

is a condition. This blog is the only one no one will bother to read. But it suits me fine. I can rant.

I have been thinking about who i am and the larger meaning of our existence. Why do we do what we do? Why must we make our lifes better for teh next generation? To ensure that we live out this life in comfort? Then what can of existence is that?

WE searching for something we don't know. We need to find assurance, comfort that our life has a purpose. That's why we have higher power, God, where its easier to explain our life.

What are we in the end? We are alone.

Maybe, oneday, this fear will be vanquished. Maybe one day, we will vanish. Maybe, oneday, we'll find the truth. Maybe we will keep searching for it. Forever.

One day, however, we will all die and it is then i hope to know that I have fulfilled my purpose. Our universal purpose.

But we have all forgotten what it is.

ends at 7/15/2006 08:54:00 PM

Saturday, July 01, 2006Y

I Will Survive

At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock I should have made you leave your key
If I'd've known for just one second you'd back to bother me
Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now ('cause)
you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did I crumble Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not.I. I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive;
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive,
I will survive.
Hey hey. It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart,
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself.
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you,
And so you feel like droppin' in
And just expect me to be free,
Now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me
Go on now.. etc.

ends at 7/01/2006 11:28:00 PM